Coming Home

Coming home for the last few months has existed a mere concept. I knew I was coming home, but I never really accepted it as something that was actually going to happen. I didn't know what to expect. The year away had changed me a lot. I was never really a prototypical American and spending so much time in different culture I loved had made me even less so. So many aspects that are so central to this country have begun to annoy me. My primary concerns on my return were:

1) I'm finally not depressed for the first time in three or four years.

Since graduating, I've been a bit depressed. Not in any crippling way. I was still able to be active, do my job, maintain a positive social life, but really I just sat around watching movies and reading books all the time. Except for my weekly/bi-weekly karaoke, I didn't go out much, instead, I just cooked a big dinner and invited people over. Yeah, it doesn't sound like depression, but this is a less-functional me. So, why is not being depressed a worry? Well, because most of my friends have not seen me when I'm happy. Happy me is annoying and egotistical. Happy me is a little manic and has a short attention span. I'm sure I won't lose any friends, but a few may be a little taken aback by how active I can be when I'm happy.

2) Consumerism/materialism really bothers me

America loves owning things. Our government measures standard of life and healthiness of the culture using a metric called the Consumer Spending Index. Why is this an important measurement of life quality? I've met lots of people who own barely anything, make very little money, grow their own food to survive, and are happier than others I know who live a big house, with a big TV, granite countertops, and eat a diet of mostly bottled fruit pulp. America is so obsessed with image and that image is a direct result of how much stuff you own. I use to own lots of stuff, then I started getting rid of most of it (although four moves in three years will force that sort of thing). Now, after living six months out of a backpack, I'm not dependent on many things at all.

3) I'll find myself even more disconnected from my culture

I know have a hybrid Australian/American attitude on life. I'm still a driven person and want to do the best I can do in whatever I do, I'm just not going to obsess about status anymore. I'll take whatever path life takes and as long as I can live and eat and know I'm doing my best at whatever I'm doing, I'll be happy. To many Americans, this translates into saying I'm content being a slacker. This isn't true at all. I've just realized life is more important that salary and status. When I need more money to live, I'll work a job that pays more, but as long as have a job (which in itself is a big positive in the current economy) I'll be ok. Now, that leads us to the next and final worry.

4) Will it be easy to find a job?

Everyone has told me that finding a job is tough right now. A part of me wants to do non-food service work. Since I'll only be home for less than a year, I want to try a job that really isn't too important to my career, but is still enjoyable and different. I've been considering becoming a baggage handler. I know somebody who does that and he's perfectly content with the job and he has lumberjack arms. That's a definite perk to the job. At the same time, I doubt I can be picky when finding a job. A few friends hate their jobs, but have to stick with it, because they can't find another. We'll just have to see.