Attack!

After three weeks in Australia, one of the most deadly places in all the world, the inevitable happened: I was attacked by an animal. First off, I am fine, I was neither maimed, killed, or wounded, merely flustered.

I was merrily riding my bike to work. It was a beautiful day, the temperature was a cool 25C (77 Fahrenheit to those not in the know), there was a slight breeze and birds were chirping. Little did I know that this was the harbinger of the horror soon to come...

The chirping was too loud, too persistent. It was getting into my head, as if it were right next to my ear. Then I saw the ominous shadow...

A bird was swooping down upon my head. I could only see the shadow diving in, turning around then coming back for more. Australian law requires bike riders to wear helmets, but I didn't know it was to protect unsuspecting bike riders from bird attacks. I really didn't fear the bird itself, the helmet was doing effective work; I feared that the bird would make me lose control and swerve into to traffic. (This apparently killed a guy in Adelaide this year.). I expected the bird to tire of this game, but it was filled with an ungodly tenacity. It attacked me continuously for over a kilometer before finally leaving me alone.

This is apparently a common occurrence for bikers and pedestrians in the spring. The attacker was a magpie, who unlike our friendly varieties in the states, are quite vicious during mating season. Most of the magpies I've seen just poof up and dance in a humorous manner that is supposed to be frightening to rodents. Jess and Sharon apparently pull over when they see such attacks because they start laughing too hard to drive. I don't think it is very funny.

Les gave me a tip on how to deal with this problem. He told me to turn my sunglasses to the back of head so it appears that I am looking to my rear. Magpies only attack from behind where they can't be seen. I've yet to see it, but mailmen often have an extra pair for this very reason. This evening on my way to work, about a block from the nest, I turned the sunglasses backwards and rode by, poofing up like a cock myself in birdish mockery. It didn't work; I was attacked a second time.